The Calm Before
by Edinburgh Love
Summary: "I wait a minute, because I'm still not sure how to say what I need to say.  Then I ask, 'Hey, Katniss, can I talk to you about something'"  A conversation between Finnick and Katniss set during Ch. 19 of Mockingjay. MOCKINGJAY SPOILERS.  Please review!


_A/N: Everything but the majority of the plot belongs to the amazing Suzanne Collins._

_Enjoy!  
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The Gamemakers don't let many days go by in between deaths in the arena. If you start to feel comfortable, you're dead. They've got buttons that bring on firestorms. Levers that will split the ground in two. Tidal waves. Lightning. Mutts. Really, the possibilities are endless.

So camping out here in the Capitol with our team only losing one soldier in days, you can see how someone who's been to the arena twice would start to feel like something bad is coming.

It's unlikely that Katniss or Peeta—the only others here with intimate knowledge of how these arenas work—have any idea. Probably she's too preoccupied with him, while he's too busy being crazy. It's funny because Jackson didn't want to put Katniss in the rotation because she knows that Katniss would never be able to kill that boy. But they all seem to have forgotten that I've already risked my life to save him. Okay, so maybe I wouldn't exactly risk my life for him now, but I doubt I could ever kill Peeta. One day Katniss will realize that she needs him. I don't want to be the reason for him not being there.

I don't mean to eavesdrop on their conversation but I feel like I'm supposed to help them. So when Peeta says that he doesn't know what's real, I speak up. "Then you should ask, Peeta. That's what Annie does."

My hands instinctively raise to my temples and I squeeze my eyes shut. Annie. Yes, time is running out. And there's still something I have to do.

When I hear Katniss leave her place by the fire, I get up and hover outside her tent. She'll be upset about her conversation with Peeta. That much is obvious. If I thought I had more time, I'd go back to my own tent and wait for another opportunity. But this city is an arena. Who knows if I'll get another chance?

There's no way to knock or anything so I just crawl inside. I know she won't mind. She'll think I'm here to comfort her, which couldn't be farther from the truth. Still I ask, "You okay?" She inhales deeply a few times. I can't see too much, but I'm sure she's trying to keep from crying. "At least you two are being civil to one another again. That's something."

"He's not the same," she manages.

"No, he's not," I agree. "But neither are we. Or Annie or Johanna or Haymitch. It's what they do to us. He'll get better, but he'll never be perfect. And one day, that will be enough." I should know. Annie's still crazy.

Which brings me to why I'm here. I wait a minute, because I'm still not sure how to say what I need to say. Then I ask, "Hey, Katniss, can I talk to you about something?"

"What is it?" She sits up a little, resting on one elbow.

"It's sort of a favor I need to ask." My sweaty hands fidget, wishing for a rope to distract them. My heart threatens to beat out of my chest.

"Okay." I can hear the curiosity in her voice.

I'm still not sure what to say, so I just say it as it comes. "If I die—" I start, but of course she cuts me off.

"You're not going to die, Finnick." She says it with such certainty that I'm almost tricked into believing it's true. "You're not going to die," she repeats.

"Fine, just hear me out. If I die," I pause, waiting for her to stop me again. But she doesn't. "If I die, please tell Annie that I died peacefully. That I wasn't horribly disfigured or tortured. Or decapitated," I add. Because that's what drove my wife to insanity in the first place, seeing her district partner get his head chopped off. I shake my head to rid it of the thought. "Just please make sure she thinks it wasn't so bad. And if you can, make sure they can't show it on television or anything." Even as I say it, I know it's a lot to ask. But Katniss says nothing. "Okay?" I hope she hears my desperation and takes my request seriously.

Finally she says, "Yeah, okay," with palpable sadness. I guess she's worked it out and realized that the odds are not in the favor of everyone making it back home.

I almost tell her about the baby. Almost. Because since the Quarter Quell, Katniss is someone I tell things to. Because I know she cares for me, and because I want to be there to see how happy she is when she finds out. But just as the words are about to leave my lips, I swallow them. She'll never let me go on if she knows Annie is pregnant. She'd probably shoot me in the foot herself to ensure my passage back to District 13. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea, except what kind of world would my child grow up in if we lose this war? No. I have to go forward.

"What?" she asks. Because now that our eyes have adjusted to the darkness, she can probably make out the tortured expression I'm no doubt wearing.

"Nothing," I tell her. "I'm just really glad you decided to try and help Peeta. Thanks. About the favor, I mean," I add.

And I leave, because now I'm the one in danger of crying.

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_A/N: Had the idea for this last night at dinner. Woke up and wrote it down.  
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_Please let me know what you think. Reviews make my day and make me want to keep writing more. If you liked it, I'd love to hear why._

_And thank you for reading!  
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